Practitioner's Good Humor

Let's suppose you've set yourself up in public office to serve as a Christian Science Practitioner; and let's suppose you are a man (but lady's are welcome to read and understand); and let's suppose you've done your own daily treatment for yourself, and you've read the most recent issues of the Christian Scientists' daily international revision of the news [conveniently browsed on the internet web] and (you've) expunged that old claim that a talking serpent can stir up mischief somewhere on the world's globe, between a man and a woman and their Lord God, and propagate that error to your doorstep; and, you're ready-- and you've flipped-over the sign on your door so that it now reads, THE PRACTITIONER IS IN-- and on your side it reads, GOD IS IN ANY CASE.

Okay, so you're busy at your desk double-polishing your impervious armor of good thoughts, as you await your next practical client, when, in whisks a young woman with a small baby in a basket, and as she sets her burden in the middle of your desk she exclaims, YOU'RE THE ONLY GOOD MAN I COULD THINK-OF, as she breezes right back out the door, with a POOF and a CLUNK, she's gone.

Next case. Right? Or, do you consult your CHURCH MANUAL on Healing Flattery? You remember that your teacher told you, we don't treat the individual for being cranky: this means, you, too. If the baby is happy, there's not much to handle in that parent's thought. Or do you pray that she finds an other, good man? might work, but wedding bells might be a little far-off! Suppose she really looks like she was ready to go shopping for the day: suppose she's someone you know ... so you're not going to call the neighborhood child-pound (if that's how it's listed in the phone book). Suppose the phone rings, and you're busy with a live case requiring your immediate attention....

Now, what are you going to do with that child?- An older child might play, draw pictures with pencil and paper, peek into your computer Concordance, watch a children's Bible story video on your DVD-TV, or read in your own private Reading-Study Room ... but a young baby will do only so much rocking and cooing and sleeping ... and then gets hungry ... hungry enough to -cry- (if you've been so occupied to not notice the usual baby conversation). An older child can eat what you eat: soup du jour, steak au jus, side order of legumes avec cous-cous (vegetables and tiny noodles), a slice of gateau de crêpes banane-ananas avec crème de marron (layer cake of crepes, sliced bananas and pineapple, and sweetened creamed chestnut), a glass of eggnog ... or perhap contrarily, a tangy cheeseburger on a sour-dough bun with tangy ketchup, tangy pickle-relish, tangy mustard and tangy mayonnaise, served with a tart strawberry whey-milkshake [the American version of sweet-and-sour *]. But alas, the little baby doesn't even go for plain cow's milk -(something about that being still an unfamiliar flavor, we men may presume).

Now you pray ... Our Dear Heavenly Father-Mother, God.... (Somehow that rings funny: something about milk and rain not mixing quite directly right in one's thought of heaven). So you try ... Our Dear Heaven-Of-Heavens-ly Father-Mother, God.... (Well, at least that's going to the source and substance of all right thinking and acting, and forming and being). So now what do you serve the child? Well, now, wait a moment ... what was it you maybe should have been serving yourself: What was it you put away ... and, why? Water? no, you drink plenty of water. Milk you had on your breakfast cereal, with sugar ... now, there's the clue: sweetness counts: the sugar that began your day may be just what that baby needs, but, it's not a cloven-hoofed, four-legged cow's baby (calf), so what's the proportion? Alas, it's on the tip of your tongue, but sense can't recall it nor reveal it (if you haven't had it to drink for decades). You could experiment: sugar for articulation and agility, water for buoyancy and balance, cream for ... uprightness:

Then you remember reading this silly article about Practitioner's Good Humor, which reminded you first of the long-ago name for ice cream (and Scripturally, 'butter-and-honey' shall he eat) ... ahh ... cream, water and sugar, for upright elevating activity, erectness and exaltation-- no wonder we like ice cream. So, in a pinch you mix your dessert ice cream with water to thin and melt it (but eat the strawberries yourself), add milk, and hope the little visitor takes to the flavor of cow's milk and vanilla, without a fuss.... Next case.**

A little later, in preparing your shopping list, you recall the concluding paragraphs, which state, that, A cup of cow's milk blended with a cup of light table cream (or two cups Half-and-half, total), and stir-in a half cup of granulated sugar till dissolved; then add equal water-- makes a pleasing Soft Milk for anytime good humored refreshment, in a recipe an older child can make ... and, you can enjoy this yourself.

(Note that dissolving the sugar in a little water first, may ensure a longer-stable product 'base' for later adding the completing water.)

Practitioners must rise in the morale of the spirit of Truth, take up their sweet dreams, and walk buoyantly, balanced, erect, in the fat of the land flowing with milk and honey.

References:
• various (government) food value statistics
• several practical tries for flavor balance